My name is Ed Ferrigan, M.A., CPCC, SEP and I am certified by some of the best trauma healing research organizations on the planet. And, like I mentioned, I've been in the trenches helping people navigate trauma for 25 years. I was also my own best client in the journey to healing my own developmental trauma.
My goal in creating this report, is to help you to see that there is an accessible way to gain immediate traction to healing your own past trauma(s) by practicing exercises I discovered that get to the root cause of why people stay stuck in life. I still use many of these tools every day to maintain good habits and to quickly move me out of the trajectory of pain and suffering back to focusing on what I want to create in my life.
You will see a lot of program's today promoting how to have your best possible life. Yet, I have not seen one of them address how underlying past trauma affects your ability to sustain the practices they recommend. Their approach is to ignore the past and focus on what you want. Good up to a point... Yet, I firmly stand behind the belief that they are clearly uninformed how the safety brain works and how trauma stays locked in the body until you release it.
To find real answers, I had to go to organizations that train therapist with programs that actually deal with the root cause. I want you to get access to what I discovered. I want to make these simple processes or exercises available to anyone. One of the goals of this report is to make this wisdom available to you, so you feel empowered to do something about your own
challenges.While there are lots of forms of trauma, my focus in this report is developmental trauma.
The effects of developmental trauma is not always easy to see. We have often repeated moment-by-moment decision making patterns for so long, we see our behaviors or ways of thinking as "normal." Yet, even now, as you reflect back on your life, you may get a vibe something is not quite right. You may even get daily feedback that others reactions are evidence of it. It took me years to finally admit this to myself, so my encouragement to you is to face these "demons" squarely now so you can access the magic on how to get past it. I'm about to show you how.
Let's start with a 4-step process so you get proof of what I'm claiming, so the wonky behaviors and ways of thinking become easier to see. As an important, first step, we must admit to ourselves what the behavior is before we can change it. Ready?
Step 1: Simply ask yourself: Am I happy with my current results in life? "Reflect on how excited you feel day-to-day?(Write down your answers in a place to access later.)
Step 2: Bookmark your answers then reflect on them. If you have been traumatized, then you have a story for most of the issues you listed. Your stories hold the keys to the solution that you'll learn about later in this report. For now, try to remember that repeating your story (be it out loud or in your head) is like a recording device. If you repeat it enough times, - you will form a belief around it. In a moment, you will learn what to do with these stories and how they're critical for changing beliefs and accessing the new life you are wanting. Treat these stories like gems in a treasure chest. Never make them wrong. Within each of them are the golden keys to releasing any trauma that still affects you today.
Step 3: The Big "Gem" That Changed Everything And You Will Benefit. Never underestimate the power of an experience. A few years ago I went through a breakup. It was a very short 3 week dating relationship but it was exactly the experience I needed to get the big aha moment that change my entire life trajectory. After a week or so talking every day to this woman, I noticed she started comparing me to her x. I also noticed when she brought it up it didn't feel good in my body. One Sunday evening I decided to sit with the feelings and use my breath to loosen the grip of the anxiety that was getting triggered around it.
As I sat with the feelings and did a few exercises I will show you how to access later, it became clear to me what to do next. Sure enough, the following day she stopped by for dinner before we headed to a Tango lesson. As we were talking, within minutes, we somehow got back on the subject and she started comparing me again.
I looked at her and smiled and said that "I noticed you are comparing me a lot and maybe she was not yet finished with him." I suggested she go back to him. She didn't like that and of course I paid the price for the remainder of the evening!
She did not connect with me the following day and I suspected she met with her x. That was confirmed when she came over on Wednesday. It was obvious she was uncomfortable being in my presence. To make a long story short, I assured her that while I thought we had great potential as a couple, she absolutely had my blessing to go back with her x, and that she did not need to feel guilty. And I meant it. While I may be sad things didn't work out, I assured her I always want the people I care about to have the joy they want in life. I've learned over the years when things are incomplete with people the best thing to do is create space for things to naturally resolve themeselves rather than resist.
Yet, here is where things get interesting and I hope you'll benefit from my story. When she left I felt a ping-pressure in my heart. Our conversation sparked some belief or memory in me. By that time in my life, I had been there hundreds of times before so I understood not to ignore when my body is speaking to me and when to pay attention to it!
After an hour or so I could not get to the underlying issue on what the ping meant. "Meant" is the key word here. You see one of the big "aha's" I want you to get today is it's the meaning we assign to EVERY experience since birth that causng us happiness or pain and suffering.
And each and every experience in life is an opportunity to practice noticing where in the past we may have assigned meaning to something that is causing us grief or happiness today. (Hint: Your list above are clues as to what to focus on.) Your body will tell you the meanings that need to be challenged, if you learn to dial in it's messages.
After some time, I called a friend of mine who used to be my old therapist 20 years earlier. Maybe 15-20 minutes into the conversation I still could not access what the "ping" was about. After we hung up I remember the next moment vividly. I sat in my favorite chair and turned on an episode of Designated Survivor. Keifer Sutherland said something and I felt a shift in my chest. I immediately paused the TV laid on the floor and laid my arms out to the side. Within a breath or two I began to convulse into deep sobs. I'm sure my neighbors heard it a block away! The trick when this happens is to not let the mind get in the way. So I did my best to go with the flow.
It was then I got my big aha. In the blink of an eye I could see and feel throughout my entire body in slow motion how the meaning I have assigned to everything since birth was at the root of all my pain. I saw in slow-motion how shortly after birth, I decided I was flawed or broken. For the next hour, memory after memory came flooding back and layers of grief moved through me. Again, I went with the flow of it.
For the next few days I lived in a chronic state of PTSD. Crying and shaking on and off. Wave after wave of grief from the past. How being neglected as a new born and young child had affected me. How I had cut myself off from these feeling my entire life until now!
My intuition told me to sit and breathe into these memories. I had had a couple of other episodes of severe PTSD in the past related to birth wounds and other preverbal wounding so felt confident in my ability to handle it. I was also familiar with the process of Somatic Experiencing, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), the Hendricks Method of Body Centered Psychotherapy, and Dr. Daniel Siegel's Interpersonal Neurobiology research, so I felt confident in how to navigate this emotional challenge.
By Sunday, I was wrung out. I made the decision to sit on my meditation pillow and not move until this energy shifted. It took 3 hours of slow breathing and feeling all of my emotions that continued to come in waves. Suddenly, at around the 3-hour mark, bliss started to creep in. The pain lifted. I stayed with it and allowed it to expand. The painful memories and waves of angst disappeared and I experienced more bliss than I can possibly imagine or even describe to you.
And it didn't stop there. The bliss lasted for nearly a month.
Step 4: The move to liberate yourself is to learn about healthy responsibility. After this experience, it is very clear to me that each of us is responsible for the meaning of everything we have ever experienced good or bad. I recommend you pause and feel into that claim. Even if we were a week old when tragedy struck, we are still responsible for changing the meaning that is still influencing us in a negative way.
What someone may have done to you is absolutely a tragic thing. No one can ever deny that. AND no one will EVER know what it was like for you. (Really grock that one!) But that is a separate issue from my main point. Learn to take responsibility for the meaning you have assigned to anything since conception and you will be on the fast-path to healing ANYTHING. I'll show you how in a moment...
Rarely, have I found a person that didn't have some kind of developmental trauma. And I'll be bold enough to say, most people who don't think they have, are in denial. Countless times I've had people say to me in my coaching practice, "I had amazing parents and a great childhood!" only to comment a few minutes later that confirmed my suspicion. Like "Well when I was 5 my dad left us, but he was always good to me and stayed in touch." 🤦♂️
Here are clues to having developmental trauma in case you are curious to explore further:
The bigger question here is how do you get to a place where it feels effortless to experience consistent amounts of joy and excitement about life. To have a sense of what you are here for and to be motivated to make that happen. To be excited about making the effort!
What I have found is the recommended solutions by the “guru’s” doesn't address an underlying issue that causes you to return to your old ways - causing you to wonder why nothing seems to work. This is a mindset issues and it stems from past trauma as I've illustrated to you above. (In a minute you'll see why it's also not your fault)
You start with good intentions. You do everything they tell you to do. You create a "system" with the intention to follow through.
Then suddenly, some impulse or distraction redirects you. It could be another method or framework that you imagine might get you there faster. So you ping over to another program, and the story continues...
Nothing gets done. You never get the traction necessary to accomplish what you picture you are wanting. Maybe you never go deep enough or stay with something long enough to thoroughly test it. The truth is, your unconscious mind has a grip on you outside of your awareness and keeps dominating your impulses and influencing your decisions.
As you look back over the years, it's easy to see something has gone wrong and regret sinks in. The challenge though, after so many trial runs, is to believe anything can help you. "Is this just another "program or framework" to entice me?" Now you don't even trust yourself to know the difference.
Like a dog chasing its tail, it rarely get's what it wants.
I finally learned how to put a stop to the madness (In myself and most of my entrepreneurial clients) and I want to share that with you today.
Over 10 years years ago, I went back and reviewed hundreds of sessions I had with clients. After highlighting and cataloguing hundreds of remarks and role plays we practiced, I identified common threads amongst the sessions where clients reported breakthrough success. The result was a list of over 25 principles and practices.
A couple years ago I began to film lessons for each of the practices and principles I discovered. You can now access this information below.
The goal of the program is to give you the essential tools to make you aware of any developmental trauma that is still interfering with your success today (most of the time outside of your awareness).
As you practice the lessons, you will begin to see the habits, patterns, and beliefs that have always been there, right under your nose. You will learn how to identify them and what to do to change them to get a better result.
And I won't sugar coat this report for marketing reasons. Your coping mechanisms and beliefs get modified the more you practice. Yes, habits (good or bad) get formed only through repetition.
Feel free to send me an email at ed@edferrigan.com if you have any questions.
