Healing Trauma: A Step-By-Step Guide

If you aspire for good mental health, then you will want to understand what trauma is, how it affects everyone, and steps to heal it. Trauma can leave you feeling anxious, depressed, and hopeless. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In this guide, we will teach you the basics of how to heal trauma and regain control of your life. And before we get started, be sure to listen to Oprah Winfrey’s 60 minute segment on mental health across America and trauma survivors.

But you’ll need to practice! Make a commitment now to practice what is being taught. And I can assure you there are a few things that will get you on track and I will share them in this guide.

A common mistake I see today is people reaching out for help, but they don’t stick with one solution long enough to see the value. They want a quick fix. Your mental health matters, so I encourage you to think of how to heal it differently.

If you are the type that wants to read every book or try out every method, you are doing yourself a disservice. I’ve seen my own clients gain tremendous momentum but then venture off, try to absorb many other methods or tactics only to relapse because they started getting confused and overwhelmed. This strategy is a trap.

Pick one style and focus. You will see later on my preference is the somatic experiencing model of healing trauma. Somatic Experiencing is a method. In my practice and research, I focused my expertise on attachment and developmental trauma. I help people heal developmental trauma using the best methods I’ve used and practiced for 25 years now. There are somewhere around 28 daily practices I recommend people to integrate into their lives. When people practice consistently, they get significant results. When they split off and combine many methods, they get overwhelmed and conclude none of it works, which could not be further from the truth. I’m living proof healing can take place even in the worst situations and I did it by focusing. [You can find more about my Trauma Repair Accelerator Program Here]

When something negative happens, it can take some time to get over the pain and feel safe again. And there are various forms of trauma, for example:

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that the incident is really over, and that the bad feeling will eventually go away. However, any trauma survivors, with patience and perseverance, will eventually be able to overcome this difficult period in life.

Developmental Traumatic Events can be caused by any type of event that is emotionally or psychologically challenging. 

At any moment in life later on, a person can get triggered into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. In 2004, I suddenly had this happen to me with an unexpected break up with a woman I thought I’d be with for the rest of my life. The way she went about breaking up activated traumatic events in my body. After 4 months of intense Somatic Experiencing trauma recovery therapy to heal my PTSD, I now understand how trauma can affect us without us knowing that unconscious trauma is always mobilizing our decisions. More on that in future blogs or video post.

When you experience emotional or psychological symptoms after a traumatic event, it's difficult to process what’s happening. You may feel shock, denial, or disbelief, confusion, difficulty concentrating, anger, irritability, mood swings, anxiety and fear, guilt, shame, and self-blame. These feelings can make it hard to interact with others or take care of yourself.

Physical symptoms can also be common after a traumatic event or if something later in life triggers a past traumatic memories. Insomnia or nightmares may occur as you try to make sense of what’s happened. Fatigue may become an overwhelming force in your life as you hide from the traumatic memories and attempt to move on.

Being startled easily may cause flashbacks or nightmares. Difficulty concentrating can lead to problems working or studying. Racing heartbeat and edginess and agitation are also common symptoms that might make everyday tasks feel impossible. Aches and pains often accompany muscle tension when you’re anxious about the future or struggling with intense emotions.

1. Emotional Dysregulation: Difficulty managing emotions, leading to intense mood swings or anger.

1. Attachment Issues: Problems forming healthy relationships due to mistrust or insecurity.

1. Hypervigilance: A heightened state of alertness and a constant sense of fear or anxiety.

1. Cognitive Challenges: Difficulties with concentration, memory, and learning.

1. Low Self-Esteem: Persistent feelings of worthlessness or shame.

1. Physical Symptoms: Unexplained aches, pains, or other somatic complaints.

1. Behavioral Issues: Aggression, impulsivity, or withdrawal from social interactions.

Now, let’s look at some simple things you can do to begin the trauma healing process.

There’s no need to center your trauma around the group or share it with other people if it doesn’t feel comfortable or safe for you. You can explore and heal your trauma in your own way, just as you would with any other personal experience.

Nurturing positive relationships is key to a happy life, and coping with trauma can be a challenging process. When you can give yourself what you may not have received early in life, you are immediately beginning the healing process. If you isolate yourself from others, you may experience depression.

I even created a trauma repair program based on all the tools I learned to heal my own trauma. At the moment, it has over 28 simple practices that “rewire” the brain and body so a person practicing can achieve healthy resolution and feel alive and healthy again.

Some people experience emotional and psychological trauma symptoms after a traumatic event. Shock, denial, anxiety disorder, or disbelief may be common. Confusion, difficulty concentrating, anger, irritability, mood swings, anxiety, and fear may also occur. Guilt, shame, and self-blame may follow. People often withdraw from others and feel sad or hopeless. Physical symptoms can include insomnia or nightmares, fatigue, being startled easily, difficulty concentrating, racing heartbeat, edginess and agitation., aches and pains.

If your psychological trauma symptoms don’t ease up, or if they become even worse, and you find you can’t move on from the event for a prolonged period, you may experience Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a serious condition that can cause anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares and other problems. If left untreated, it can lead to depression and other mental health issues. If you experience any of these symptoms after an emotional trauma such as a death in the family or assault, please talk to your doctor right away.

PTSD can occur after an emotionally traumatic event or from childhood trauma that gets re-triggered if the nervous system remains stuck and you cannot process your emotions. This can cause psychological shock, which prevents you from functioning normally.

In the overall scheme of healing trauma, you want to focus your energy on emotional regulation. There is a wide variety of ways to work yourself through the healing process.

The challenge will be to navigate negative emotions. Our brain naturally wants to avoid, so automatically moves into a fight, flight or freeze response. In your trauma healing journey, you’ll learn this reinforces the problem. The energy never gets to release like it needs to if we stay stuck in the FFF response. Instead, you want to breathe in and move with the energy.

The benefits of physical movement activity go far beyond just helping you heal. Exercise and movement also provide your body with feel-good chemicals like endorphins, which can help you feel less stressed and happier.

Kick back and enjoy the simple pleasures in life. Take a walk, go for a bike ride or skate on the rink. And don’t forget your yoga mat – it’s time for some calming stretching! Or take to the dance floor solo!

The other benefit to movement is you loosen the grip on the Fight, Flight, Freeze responses that may have occurred when you were little. Many times I’ve watched clients drop into the feelings or felt-sense of the original event only to discover an incomplete movement. If you practice movement, practice with intention.

Let’s say you remember some childhood trauma event where you felt powerless. Replay the sequence slowly as you move about the room. When you reach the point where you wanted to fight or flight (run) this time around, do so. Feel the impulse from the inside out. Act on it. Follow through on the impulse.

For years, I had traumatic memories of my father being mean to me and I wanted to hit him. So I’d put him in front of me, feeling all the feelings I used to feel. I’d look at him and say what I wished I could have said during the original event when my life felt threatened. In the original events, I was so scared I’d go into a freeze response and maybe even dissociation if the energy was too scary.

This time around, however, I could feel my power as the adult “Ed”. The power came through my words and actions. I’d say what I want, then strike the imaginary “him”. I’d play out his reactions and allow that primitive part of my brain to follow through on its impulses to release the stuck energy. Today, I no longer remember what happened and am thrilled. Thoughts of him now bring joy to my face.

Although it may be difficult at first, you may have powerful emotions, such as anger. These feelings are natural and necessary for growth.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling new emotions, and that includes feeling a wide variety of emotions. It’s natural to feel excited about things, scared, happy, and more. No matter what you’re feeling, there’s no need to worry or be ashamed. You’re just experiencing life in its fullest!

When feelings come up, imagine a bell curve in front of you as you watch the emotions rise and fall. In time, you’ll realize there is nothing to be afraid of. When you learn to allow the emotions to move and have a voice, you become liberated and they stop wreaking havoc in your life and decision making.

Here is another practice you can do.

To practice self-care throughout your healing journey, take small actions that make you feel good and loved. This will help you to stay on track and progress towards your goals.

To be truly happy, you need to set aside time for yourself every day. Happiness comes from caring for yourself and doing things that make you feel loved. Carve out at least fifteen minutes each day to do something that makes you happy and comfortable.

Taking brief breaks throughout the day can help keep your energy up and prevent you from feeling too tired. Plus, it’ll give you a chance to do something fun!

Stress can be a real nuisance in your life, but there are some simple techniques you can use to reduce it. Meditation and breathwork are two popular options that improve stress levels and make you more relaxed and content. If you’re looking for ways to de-stress, give these two practices a try!

Talking about your trauma with someone face-to-face is important. They don’t have to know the full details of what happened, just that you need to talk to them. Someone who will listen attentively without judging you is a valuable ally in healing.

If you struggle with intense emotions, turn to a trusted family member, friend, counselor, or pastor for help. Explaining your feelings and getting support from those closest to you can help ease the burden and allow you to process these difficult thoughts and emotions.

Even if you don’t feel like it, take part in social activities. This will help you break through the fear brain’s mechanism that is reacting to the trauma. Stay social and make new friends and enjoy your time together. This will help speed healing, eliminating you going “deeper into the hole.”

Whether you’re feeling on edge or just trying to get some peace, know that there is a way to calm yourself down. One key to calming yourself is altering your arousal system, so learn how to do this if things get out of control.

By using a trauma-relieving technique, you will control the anxiety that comes with traumatic experiences. This will help you feel better overall and to manage your life more effectively.

The healing journey is not always easy or direct. If you’re struggling to function at home or work, have severe fear, anxiety, or depression, cannot form close relationships, are experiencing terrifying memories, nightmares, or flashbacks, and are emotionally numb and disconnected from others then seeking help from a trauma specialist may be the best course of action for you. Working through trauma can be a challenging process that requires the support of an experienced professional. If you feel you may benefit from talking with a therapist or counselor about your experiences, please reach out.

Let’s summarize some key point for you.

If you’re looking to try out a new form of therapy, Somatic Experiencing might be a good option for you. This treatment incorporates elements of presencing and resource re-training that can help “unfreeze” traumatic memories. By working through the memories and addressing the emotions associated with them, SE can have a considerable impact on your overall well-being.

You can get a FREE session if you are not a client of Ed Ferrigan. HERE

If you want something that teaches you all of the Trauma Healing Main Practices before you hire an expert you can find a FREE copy HERE.

Somatic Experiencing and the Hendricks Institute Method is my preferred method of healing trauma. Somatic experiencing is a body-based healing method that was developed by Peter Levine, Ph.D. It incorporates the study of stress physiology, psychology, ethology, biology, neuroscience, indigenous healing practices, and medical biophysics in order to provide relief from trauma. This technique has been successful in providing relief for patients for over 45 years